What to Do If Your Ex Won’t Follow the Holiday Custody Agreement in Florida

Your ex just texted that they’re keeping the kids through Christmas Day even though your court order says otherwise. Or they’re late for pickup and not answering their phone. When your ex violates a Florida holiday custody agreement, you’re not helpless, but you need to act strategically.

This guide walks you through the immediate steps to take when your ex refuses to follow your holiday time-sharing order, what Florida law allows you to do about it, and how to protect your rights without making things worse.

Document the Violation Immediately

The moment your ex refuses to follow the holiday schedule, start creating a record. Florida courts require evidence. Document the following:

What Documentation Looks Like

Include the following details:

• Time and date of the violation: “December 25, 2024, at 12:00 p.m.” is better than “Christmas afternoon.”
• What the court order says: Screenshot or photograph the relevant page of your parenting plan.
• What actually happened: “Failed to return children at 12:00 p.m. as ordered” is specific. “Ruined Christmas” is not.
• Your attempts to communicate: Save every text message, email, or voicemail where you tried to resolve the issue.
• Witnesses if applicable: Write down their name and what they saw.

Create a Running Log

Start a violation log if you don’t have one. Each time your ex violates the custody agreement, add an entry with the date, time, what happened, and any communication about it. This pattern matters when you file a motion.

Send a Written Communication About the Violation

After documenting what happened, send your ex a clear, unemotional message. Use email or text so you have a record.

Keep it factual:

“Our parenting plan states that I have the children from December 25 at 12:00 p.m. through December 26 at 6:00 p.m. You did not return them at 12:00 p.m. today. I expect you to comply with our court order. Please confirm when you will return them.”

Don’t include:

• Accusations about their character
• Threats about what you’ll do to them
• Emotional language about how this affects you
• Profanity or insults

Write every message like the judge is reading over your shoulder, because they likely will.

Know Your Options Under Florida Law

When your ex violates a custody order, Florida law gives you several enforcement tools. The right one depends on how serious the violation is and whether it’s a pattern.

Motion for Enforcement

A Motion for Enforcement asks the court to order your ex to comply with the existing time-sharing schedule. Florida Statute § 61.13(4)(c) allows the court to enforce time-sharing orders and order makeup time.

If your ex kept the kids for six extra hours on Christmas, you get six extra hours later.

Motion for Contempt

If your ex is willfully and repeatedly violating the custody order, file a Motion for Contempt. This is more serious because it can result in penalties.

Contempt requires proof that:

• A valid court order exists
• Your ex knew about the order
• Your ex had the ability to comply
• Your ex willfully refused to comply

Penalties can include fines, attorney’s fees, modification of the time-sharing schedule, or jail time in extreme cases.

Emergency Motion for Temporary Relief

If your ex has taken the children and you believe they won’t return them, or if there’s a safety concern, file an emergency motion for immediate intervention.

Emergency relief is reserved for actual emergencies. Missing one scheduled pickup doesn’t qualify. Refusing to return the children at all, or threatening to leave the state with them, does.

What Not to Do When Your Ex Violates the Agreement

Don’t retaliate by violating the order yourself. Do these instead:

Don’t Withhold the Children During Your Ex’s Time

If your ex kept the kids an extra day during Christmas, don’t keep them an extra day during New Year’s. The court sees this as two violations.

Don’t Withhold Child Support

Child support and time-sharing are separate issues under Florida law. You can’t stop paying child support because your ex violated the custody agreement. If you do, the court can hold you in contempt.

Don’t Bad-Mouth Your Ex to the Children

Courts look at each parent’s ability to encourage a relationship between the children and the other parent. Telling the kids their other parent is terrible for missing Christmas works against you.

Don’t Show Up at Your Ex’s Home and Demand the Children

This can escalate into a police situation and make you look like the aggressor. Law enforcement in Florida typically won’t intervene in civil custody disputes unless there’s a safety concern or criminal activity like parental kidnapping.

File the Right Motion with the Court

Once you’ve documented the violation and tried to communicate, involve the court if the problem continues:

Choose Your Motion Type

• For a single violation or occasional violations: File a Motion for Enforcement asking for makeup time.
• For repeated, willful violations: File a Motion for Contempt with documentation proving the pattern.
• For emergency situations: File an Emergency Motion if your ex has the children and won’t return them, or if you believe they’re about to leave the state.

What the Court Can Order

• Makeup time-sharing
• Modification of the parenting plan to give you more time if violations are serious
• Your ex pays your attorney’s fees
• Parenting classes for your ex
• Contempt with fines or jail time
• Reduction of your ex’s time-sharing

Timeline for Court Action

Standard motions typically take four to eight weeks to get a hearing date in most Florida counties. Emergency motions can be heard within days if the situation qualifies as an emergency.

Gather Evidence Before Your Hearing

The court will not rely on your word, but needs proof.

What to Bring

• Your parenting plan with the holiday provisions highlighted
• Your violation log showing dates, times, and details
• Screenshots or printouts of text messages and emails
• Timestamped photos showing you arrived at the exchange location on time
• Witness statements if anyone observed the violations
• Police reports if law enforcement was involved

Organize Your Evidence

Put everything in chronological order. Create a simple timeline:

“December 23: Order said exchange at 6 p.m. at Target parking lot. I arrived at 5:50 p.m. (photo attached). Ex arrived at 7:15 p.m. (text exchange attached showing I asked where they were at 6:05, 6:20, and 6:45).”

Clear evidence makes a stronger case.

Consider Mediation Before Court

Florida requires mediation in most family law disputes before trial. Even when filing a motion for enforcement or contempt, the court may order mediation first.

Mediation Works When:

• This is the first or second violation
• Your ex seems willing to comply going forward
• You want to avoid the time and expense of a hearing

Mediation Doesn’t Work When:

• Your ex has repeatedly violated the order
• Your ex refuses to acknowledge the violations
• There’s a pattern of manipulation or control

If you reach an agreement in mediation, it becomes part of your court order. If mediation fails, you proceed to your hearing.

Protect Your Rights for Future Holidays

After dealing with one holiday violation, take steps to prevent future problems:

Request Specific Language in Your Order

If your current order uses vague terms like “reasonable holiday time” or “parents will agree on holiday schedules,” file a Motion to Modify to add specific dates, times, and locations for all major holidays.

Keep Detailed Records

Continue your violation log even after the court rules. If your ex violates again, you’ll have a documented pattern showing that enforcement orders aren’t working.

Follow the Order Yourself

Show up on time. Return the children on time. Follow every provision. When you go back to court, your clean record strengthens your credibility.

When Legal Help Makes the Difference

Filing motions and gathering evidence takes time and legal knowledge. If your ex repeatedly violates your Florida holiday custody agreement, or if you’re facing an emergency situation where your ex won’t return the children, you need representation.

Nest Law handles time-sharing enforcement cases throughout South Florida. We’ll help you file the appropriate motion to protect your parenting time.

The holidays matter to your children, and you shouldn’t have to spend them fighting just to see them. Contact us today to discuss your legal options.